Patter-Pitter by Joan J. Bell

I know when she heard the pitter-patter

of tiny feet she didn't expect to

Hurt quite so much,

but then there was

hop-hip 

music in her ears

And the

patter-pitter

of heavier steps

Then, the doorbell rings

dong-ding

Someone there to tell her

Her daughter is not perfectly pristine

And my mother,

she

  is on

her knees screaming why

  Why

are you doing this 

to me?

and I,

Well.

I don't know what to tell her other

Than it hurts and I don't

Know why but I need that

pain to feel okay

And I can't expect her to understand

what it's like to never feel

noRMaL

but I do know that

I resent her resentment and

love her love and I'm confused by

How conditional 

it sometimes seems. 

If there's one thing I know absolutely it's that I know absolutely 

nothing

And even the

tap-tip

of my tears on the page sound backwards and confused

Just the same as always.